Category Archives: HUMOR & SATIRE

Why is America so messed up? Blame the Founding Fathers & Disney!

CONSTITUTION - free MSPETER PAN - FREE MSDo we live in a messed up culture or what? Congress is gridlocked (aka constipated) and Wall Street seems to have terminal IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome – alternating constipation & diarrhea). It looks like virtually everything is illegal or soon will be which surely is linked to the phenomenal growth of the prison industry.  And single folks, they flock to on-line dating services where they find legions of married people looking for “afternoon delight” or its equivalent. People in general are now so jaded and fearful that just about anything from a sour look to a bag of skittles and a bottle of iced tea qualifies as a deadly threat.  And the boxers in the ring – that’s you and me folks – are so punch-drunk we longer hear the bell, see the canvas… or even care.  To hear the most vocal among us we are either one step from becoming the Fourth Reich or else on the slippery slope to some form of communalism or communism or some ism no one seems to favor or else believes signals the advent the “End Times”. I’m pretty sure if an extraterrestrial intelligence actually visited this veil of tears it would not conclude we are “Mostly Harmless” and would stick a quarantine beacon in high orbit to warn off other space travelers.

So how did we wind up so utterly messed up? I’m sure you have your own pet theories and suspicions. Me? I think it all started with the Founding Fathers and then Disney. Yep, the Founding Fathers and Disney. You see, those venerable Übermensch who founded our empire..uh…republic, elected to write some nonsense about our being entitled to pursue happiness. The problem is, they didn’t posses a roadmap to happiness or anything like it, nor did they seem to have the remotest idea  what exactly it is or would even look like (Albeit some folks tried heartily to achieve it by abusing every vice known to humankind). But then came Walt Disney and his cadre of mythmakers and propagandists who spoon fed us Baby Boomers (as well as those who had the misfortune of following in our wake) versions of reality in which all wrongs are righted; the Princess, puppet turned human, talking cricket and exceedingly cute fawn and most of her family beat the odds and lived; and the wicked witch and all those like her ultimately get theirs, and everyone somehow lives happily ever after. Now what do you think happens when you fill impressionable kids with notions of being entitled to pursue happiness and then feed them a steady diet of Disney films as though it were some kind of  magical roadmap? Why, hell yeah, you get a bunch of disappointed, anxious, spoiled, conceited neurotics who spin their wheels and fritter their lives away trying to dull the pain of not having a Disney-esque life, family, job, or future. Most wind up chucking their St. Whatever statue out their car, van, truck or armored personnel carrier window, and placing one of St. Al (Al Bundy) or St. Sam (Kinison) in its place.  This pathetic existential state naturally gives rise to a host of evils such as drunkenness, cheating, sexless relationships, career burnout, road rage, shoplifting, hoarding, running over the neighbor’s dog, tossing litter out of vehicle windows, overeating and fudging on income tax returns.  In the end, many find themselves wondering if happiness is something only those in the local cemetery found and this by making a permanent stage left.

Is there hope for this messed up state-of-affairs? There is. Forget the pursuit of happiness and instead pursue loyalty, faithfulness, virtue, and honesty. And toss all those Disney DVDs in the rubbish bin and make a point of exposing your children and/or grandchildren to stories that do not necessarily end with everyone living “happily ever after” but do teach them something about sacrifice, hard work, persistence, set-backs, tolerance, righting wrongs and doing what is good and right, as well as championing justice and equality for all while steadfastly resisting injustice and inequality in whatever guise. At least this way they will not be looking for a Disney world or Disney ending that will never come, though if they hang on and keeping doing what’s right and virtuous they might just get pretty darn close.

Choctaw Doc (Philosophizing from his porch swing)

 Copyright 2013 by Dr. Anthony G. Payne. All rights reserved.  

 

Female sexuality: Just when the waters seemed to have cleared a little

Young Woman with Her Hand on Her Belly and Man Beside Her WritingSigmund Freud once said something to the effect that the one thing that truly eluded him was deciphering female behavior & sexuality (I read all his works by age 12 or so but still wrestle with some aspects of his claims & insights). I must admit that the range of plasticity in women — much culturally & socially influenced if not determined — is daunting (Men, by contrast, often seem like trolley trains on a one-way track). Now comes yet another book that is sure to confound any attempt by anthropologists, psychologists, sociologists and others to solve what Freud could not: http://www.alternet.org/sex-amp-relationships/memoir-female-lust I have come to the tentative conclusion that the best recourse is surrender — as in starting one’s 2nd childhood early and returning to those simplier, less confused days when everything was explained or solved by 30 or 60 minute TV shows & news specials as well as movies & mini-series. Either that or go mad and adopt a “Laugh In” or Timothy Leary spin on reality.

“Walking Around Thinking About Stuff” (Credentalism)

Walking Around Thinking About Stuff”Picture

In the good-spirited movie “Accepted” a bright teenage underachiever named Bartleby Gaines (Justin Long) comes up with a creative solution to having been rejected by every single college and university he has applied to: Namely, create his own school! Joined by a small cadre of friends who are having their own difficulties with the world of higher education, they concoct a fictional college (South Harmon College of Technology – S.H.I.T.) and set up a web site. When Bartleby’s father hands him a check to cover first semester costs ($10K USD) and asks to visit the campus, the boy and his sidekicks realize the only way to keep their charade alive is to fabricate a physical campus! They promptly locate and rent a collection of dilapidated buildings that once housed a psychiatric hospital and proceed to transform these into South Harmon’s campus. With comedian Lewis Black lured into playing the role of S.H.I.T.’s “Dean” – the stage is set for a headlong dive into fun, adventure and a series of twists and turns that culminates in a thoroughly predictable though heartwarming ending. In-a-word what starts out as a smokescreen to fool parent’s winds up becoming a crucible of learning that wins the hearts and accolades of parents and state accreditation officials alike.  And, perhaps most importantly, along the way Bartleby and his cadre of fellow out-of-steppers poke good-natured fun at the traditional academic pecking order, assembly-line education, corporate greed, hypocrisy, credentialism, elitist thinking and (ahem) accepted notions of what constitutes success.  In short, they rock the boat in ways and areas it needs rocking (Needless to say, if you never saw “Accepted” please do so.)

Among the many issues raised in  one way or another during the course of “Accepted” is the matter of what constitutes a valid education. IMHO if a person’s education equips them with the skills and knowledge needed to perform competently in their chosen profession, trade or vocation then their qualifications AKA credentials — however obtained, e.g., apprenticeship, distance/online/at-a-distance/virtual, OTJ, etc. —  whether accredited or not — have been validated.  If, for example, an accountant who mastered accounting by a combination of on-line courses and OTJ training and work performs professionally as well as the holder of a regionally accredited accounting degree then she is indisputably an accountant. Along this line: In Vermont a person can become a lawyer without having ever attended law school (What he or she has to do is apprentice under a licensed attorney for 4 years and then pass the state bar exam.) 

One gentleman who has delved deeply into competency in a profession or field as constituting perhaps the most reliable yardstick of being qualified (to be engaged in it) is author Charles D. Hayes. Here is a taste of his line-of-reasoning from the preface of one of his popular books titled “Proving You’re Qualified“:  

“Credentials are an attempt to offer proof that we can do what we say we can do.  I say attempt because anyone with experience in the workplace can attest to the fact that credentials cannot be counted on a proof of competence.  Establishing credentials should be no more complicated that proving competence. But proof of competence should consist of more than evidence of school attendance, effective use of short-term memory, and an ability to adapt to a classroom environment.”

“I have more than 30 years of work experience in varying types of employment settings. I’ve been a U.S. Marine, a police officer, a factory worker, a salesman, and a publisher, and I have spent more than a decade and a half working for a major oil company.  In all of my experience I have never been able to discern definitive differences traceable to levels of formal education among people performing similar jobs. I have worked with and for people with impressive degrees who were, without question, incompetent. I have worked with and for people with little formal education who were exemplary employees whom you would never suspect lacked any knowledge with having. On numerous occasions I have seen people with no experience perform tasks better on the first attempt than people who had been performing the same task for years and had spent considerable time studying their field.

I have witnessed hundreds of conflicts over which employees should be promoted and which credentials should be required for a given job.  I am convinced that our system of qualification does as much harm as it does good. Competence should be more important than credentials, and knowledge, no matter how it is obtained, should count more that proof of attendance in what are often ridiculous qualifying exercises. For the sake of businesses, individuals, and learning institutions, evidence of competence should be possible through the demonstration of a person’s effort, not limited to what it is “thought” the person knows.

The ability to shoot straight can be quickly demonstrated, whereas a certificate that says you can shoot straight may be counterfeit. Why, then, does it make sense to accept certificates instead of target practice when choosing shooters?  Why are people known to be expert marksmen asked to step aside to made way for people who have shooting certificates but are unable to hit the broad side of a barn?  Thank goodness we do not do this with airline pilots.  Airline pilots have to prove they know what they are doing under the direct scrutiny of others who have already proved their own competence: would that such demonstrated ability carried more weight in other areas. Take instruction, for example.  I have watched enthusiastic individuals with no formal credentials conduct training sessions and hold audiences spellbound. Their high interest, coupled with hands-on experience, engenders a genuine enthusiasm for learning among the trainees.  In contrast, I have observed people with graduate degrees in teaching whose training exercises were so dull a as to quash anyone’s curiosity about the subject matter.”

If you are tempted to dismiss the “many roads to Rome” thesis inherent in this blog post, watch “Accepted” and read Mr. Hayes book. Then join me at South Harmon and we’ll hash it all out as part of the course “Walking Around Thinking About Stuff.”

Rocking the Boat Blog Site Debuts

The Fook U Party

This is Rated “R” for being quasi-raunchy & revolutionary, so minors & overly sensitive folks should not open this file: The Fook U Party – Viva La Revolution

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